From the recording Solving for Ex
While it recalls the scathing sarcasm of his early career gem, "Honorable Mentions", Chapter One of Chris Rudel's PAINTER EP is titled "Solving for Ex", a clever and apt name for a song that is by far his most lyrically explicit and specifically referential. One need only contrast the titles of the two songs to see where the similarities begin and end. While both are 5+ minute piano ballads, "Solving for Ex" has a playful, hummable melody defined by a gentle lilt that belies the content of the lyrics. As the title suggests, it is a breakup song with an emotional intensity right up there with Alanis Morissette's angsty 90's anthem "You Oughta Know" (its expletive-laden choruses will stop you upon first listen). However what distinguishes it from Morissette's unbridled anger is the way Rudel crafts such sweet and supple harmonies and a solemn, straightforward lead vocal that undercut the brutality of the F-bombs by imbuing the track with a gut-wrenching sincerity. It is this earnest delivery throughout coupled with carefully constructed details (such as throw-back doo-wop style finger snaps in the second verse) that make "Solving for Ex" Rudel's most lyrically compelling offering yet.
Written & produced by Chris Rudel
Lyrics
Solving for Ex
(Christopher Rudel)
last night I broke all the dishes
took back all the good wishes
that I’d given sincerely to you
then I took a match and lit it
burned down the house with you in it
it was only a dream but I woke up
wishing that it came true
the last time I gave you a chance
it came with no strings attached
there was no reason for you to lie
but I’ve learned that narcissism
is embedded in the way you’re thinking
last time’s the last time that I’ll ever try
go fuck yourself forever, I can’t honestly say “good” bye
in dreams I smashed everything within arm’s reach
you told me you loved me and I mattered but I’m sure it was just a speech
plates and glasses shattered, framed pictures of you and of me
all metaphors for all the shit I commit here and now to memory
the last time I gave you a chance
you had no reason to dance
the way that wallflowers do in a crowded room
but I’ve watched your charm fade
your dark side is a blackout maze
I guess I forgave you too soon
so go fuck yourself forever, I can’t honestly say “good” bye to you
I don’t know why I’m so surprised
you’ve built your whole truth on your lies
zero plus zero will always be nothing
it took so long to realize
there was no fix to resolve this
solving for ex was the answer to all this
poured my heart out to you
thought you’d be honest
you told me you’d changed
and I bought it
then you brought out your cruelest weapon
your cold, calculated deception
you can treat the disease but until you stop doing
the dangerous drug it will leave you in ruins
the cruel world you’re thriving in
won’t be my everyday hell again
tried to reach out a hand
then you proved in the end
you’re still a piece of shit
it’s not worth being friends
goodbye and go fuck yourself...